Ruth writes:

hi
isnt there really any conditons in unconditional love? i know it sounds contradictory but i ask: mustnt there be mutual respect, i mean, if my friend accuses me that i m not there for her and i havent realised that, and i explained and she was still angry at me, then, what else can i do? dont i have the right to be protect myself from her anger? i think being judged unjustly or lacking to see a point of view means that i cannot love so unconditionally after all because i want to be treated fairly.

what s your opinion?
thanks
ruth

The 1st question:  Aren’t there conditions to unconditional love?  The answer is no.  If there are conditions to love, it is conditional love.  That doesn’t mean there is anything Wrong with conditional love, it just isn’t Unconditional.

2nd Question:  Mustn’t there be mutual respect?  I’m assuming you mean for love to be unconditional there must be mutual respect.  Again, the answer is no.  That would be a condition.  Respect, and mutual respect are conditions for one or each to meet.

3rd Question:  What else can you do with your friend’s anger towards you?  Absolutely not a thing.  You can love someone unconditionally and also walk away.  You cannot control what your friend feels, thinks, says, or does.  And who would want to?  You can love her unconditionally even though she is not loving You unconditionally.

Now being treated unfairly is not the same as loving unconditionally or being loved unconditionally…. rather, loving someone without conditions is loving them inspite of their mistakes, their wrong-doings, or their lack of respect for you or anyone else.

In the same breath, loving someone unconditionally doesn’t mean you let them walk all over you.  It means you love yourself enough to establish good boundaries, and if those boundaries are stepped across, one must be willing to verbalize that and communicate it.

So many people fall short on establishing boundaries because it means we have to communicate intimately with our family, friends, children, and co-workers.  But after one is in the habit (and good communication IS a habit one can develop), it becomes as second nature as eating lunch.  It becomes a necessity to everyday life.

Learning to communicate your personal boundaries is one of the steps that will bring you more peace of mind!

Choose Wellness Consciously!!
~Wendy

If you have a question you’d like answered, email Wendy at SpiritualLifeDesign@gmail.com!  Your question may appear under the Advice Category!  Questions in regards to creating an essential life physically, emotionally, or spiritually are welcome!